Why Can't I Fix It?

“I must confess that researching, interviewing for, and writing this book has been harder than I was prepared for. The stories I have heard brought back memories and resurfaced feelings I thought I had reckoned with or didn’t even know I had. The perspectives I heard from people outside my community have revealed to me just how much my and my congregation’s response to addiction has been shaped by whiteness and privilege. Much like the journey of companioning our loved ones in addiction crisis, the creation of this book has been a raw process marked with fresh sadness and fresh hurt. But it has also brought fresh hope.Not long after Nick died, a friend shared with me a line from Hemingway’s A Farewell to Arms: ‘The world breaks every one and afterward many are strong at the broken places.’ Addiction has broken so many families within our congregations and communities. It certainly broke mine. This book is about reckoning with that breakage, and then leaning into the work of helping the families in our communities get stronger at our broken places. I am glad that my Unitarian Universalist theology and spiritual practices can help us. In our congregation we light our chalice, we share our prayers of sorrow and joy, we come together in community to help us hold hope, we practice being the people the world and families need, we seek to establish the kingdom of Heaven here in this life instead of pinning our hopes on some other life, and we affirm that no one is beyond the reach of God’s love. Whether you are a member of my faith, of another, or of none, I hope that you too will find healing and hope in these pages.”